Im in a dilemma. Like seriously. Im stucked between two choices that will determine my future. Okay over. :P But seriously.
Kay one of it is basically to do very well for my N Levels and then go straight for my O Levels kan. I mean ofcourse it'd be soooo sooo soo much better if i can go and take O levels. But lately, a few teachers have been telling us things like, do well for your n levels, go for higher nitech courses thenn if you do exceptionally well, you'd be promoted to 2nd year of poly after finishing your higher nitech stuffs lah. That is sorta like for me lah. Because im very sure i wont be able to pass my O levels. I just know it ): But that would mean going to ITE. Anddd ITE is not badd! Its just that people there will be the ones influencing us to do badly for ourselves. But kalau kiter cekal kan hati, meti boleh punyer. Insya'allah. Only that, my friends are pressuring me to go Sec 5. Teacher said that many sec 5 students gave up half way, continue to slack and do very badly or their o levels. im afraid it'll happen to me. She also said that some of us should reallly go for higher nitech courses instead of sec 5 because we'd do better there. I dont know. What do i do?

If i go to ITE im just afraid people might categorise me as those baddddd girls. But Raihan told me that if we're going to Higher Nitech, he'd take the same course as me, so as to not let both of us get influecned by em baaad things. BUT! Sigh, i want to go to poly. ): I want to make my parents proud. Although my sister seems to be the only hope for my parents, i want to prove to them that despite me being the slow one, i too can achieve the things i want. But given this opportunity, im afraid that halfway down the road, i'd dissapoint them. I dont want that to happen. At the same time, idw to be dissapointed the moment i receive my O levels certificate, saying that i failed, and im going to ite(higher nitech also lah). Maybe i should try? Try taking O levels then see what happens? Knowing the fact that i have such little confidence in myself, that i keep telling myself im gna fail o levels and dissapoint everybody, makes it so mucch harder to make a decision. Theres pros and cons in both decisions. Omg.

I shall now just concentrate on my N Levels, trrrrrry to do well, then we'll see what happens. The only thing i ask for is for them to not pressssure me too much. Maybe i need to start making my own decision. But the thing is, will my decision be a right one?
Damn, im in a dilemma. o.o

Aisyah. ♥