Before you read, i shall tell you this. This pst is about me, so its boring. Everything about me is boring. so donttttt read, if you think you dont want to waste like 5-10 mins of your lives. THANK YOUUU. :D

Feels like sometimes im too busy fixing other people's friendships and relationships, that mine are still left hanging. Feels like, after all that has happened, nothing had changed. Well atleast with the fact that we're on talking terms, thats all. Feels like, somehow, i dont have a place in their hearts. Feels like even after all em i love yous and all, they dont really mean it afterall. Feels like all this happened was only bcause they wanted to make me feel loved for once. It helps, but you dont really showw it. Its a feeling. A feeling of like you know, youre loved. Sincerely, truly loved. Not just by doing one thing, and expect others who saw it to think that, oh, aisyah is loveeedd. :D:D:D Not that im being unappreciative, but like, i want the feeling i had on that day to last. Not just for a day, and everything goes back to the way it is.
Sometimes i feel like just giving up on everything. EVERYTHING. And run away to a new environment or smth.

Its like you spent your time doing it, for nothing. Because theres no love, no care, nothing. Its just a collage. No meanings at all. (Well atleast thats how i feel)
You dont like being used? So do i. So why do you keep using me? Youll come to me when you need help on something, advices or smth, but youll completely ignore me, leave me out, when you have your company.
hm. so whatt am i to you? Do you really mean it when you say you miss me? Or was all that for show? o.o say it like you mean it.

Ive heard from someone who says that a person who always console others, who gives advices to others for them to better their relationships or friendships, or even their lives, would end up being the one stuck or lost when they themselves are facing the problems, they once helped to solve. And ive gotta agree with that. Ive helped so much to see other people finally work things out with their friends, girlfriends or boyfrs, but me? I have soo many problems of my own that i cant seem to solve. I tell people to do this do that, and they did it, and they relationship worked out, but mine? "Practice what you preach" <<< Im not living up to that, because i see that, i tell advice people blablabla, but i dont practice my advices for myself. So i end up being psycho one. Its true.Ive started to realise that ike few mnths ago, and im trying to change myself. But i cant seem to do it. ): Im a problematic girl, who keeps a smiley face evrytime. Im full of pretence, and im tired of that. I seriously am.

Aish.