Mixed emotions i suppose?
i dont know whaat im feeling right now. ive spent a long time trying to figure out whaat exactly is in my heart right now, but i just cant seem to be able to figure it out ah. Sadd? Angrry? Agitated? Frustrated? i dont know. What is happening w me lately? all i do is wonder why aren't you talking to me or being online. Seriously, days feels like months you knw. Omg, i seriously have to let this feeling go la, cause its really scaring me. The more i think of it, the more im gna like think of all the negative stuffs thats gna happen. even as im writing this, im like trying to pour out what i feel cause i thought it'd help, but i seriously could not put in words of what im feeling now. i cant, but i want to! i think im angry. i think ah, oh or maybe im sad? seee! idk! tsk, this is really making me mad-er (if theres such words ar) my feelings for you.. erm i dont really know. we're mre like bestfr i shud say ah. not more than that. i guess we're too closee, too informal to be together. and like rihanna said, falling in love with your bestfriend can be scary. i think she said that because prolly if smth bad happens, im gna lose both a boyfr and a bestfr. and i guess i want us to just be this way. i seriously dont knw my feeligns towards you, and idw to make you continue waiting for me. Cause if i end up w someone else or maybe end up not choosing anybody, im gonna hurt your feelings real bad, and i guess all your friends who knws this are gna hate me for that. Plus, im prolly gna lose a realllly good friend ): and idw that. maybe after you read this, we're gna fall apart a little but i guess its for your own good? cause i seriously dont want to put any hopes on you. i dont want to be like some girls who really gives hope and ends up hurting themm cause i really care about you. if possible i dont even want to hurt your feelings, at all. but maybe after reading this, JUST MAYBE you'd be a little hurt, but atleast its better than being "rejected"? god that word's so meaaan!
but some people say, we're lucky to be in love w a bestfr cause we knw so much abt our partner, and that we can trust he/she really well.
so can we really?
I DONT KNOW.

Guys, idw to put any hopes on you guys alright, so if you think im not worth waiting for, just leave me okeh? cause i think im not worth waiting for and i dont deserve your time. no worries, i wont be like heartbroken or anyth cause i know who i am. im not sure of what i want. maybe some parts of me are starting to like know what i really want ah, but yeah.. i dont want to hurt any of you, so now im making it clear to you k? cause they say imma heartbreaker. and sadly, i think i agree w it. ):

Aisyah.